|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Three ReasonsI knew it wouldn't be her when I opened the front door. I had just hoped that maybe she had seen her mistake. But it was silly to think that she would come and apologize, wasn't it?
"Is you mother home?" the young woman asks as I open the door.
"No," I answer simply.
"When will she be back?"
"When she feels like coming back,"' I retort. Then I slam the door in her face because that woman is really pissing me off. There are three reasons why her questions made me angry. One, I am 21 and I don't live with my mom. I live in a house with two roommates. Two, when I opened the door, she looked about ready to come inside; I don't want a desperate saleswoman inside my lovely home. Three, when someone starts a conversation without even saying "hello" or "how are you?" I feel as if they don't respect me enough to simply go through the obvious actions of trying to be polite.
"Hey, who was that?" Sonya asks.
"No one," I answer.
"You mean her?"
"No. I mean no one. When I say one thing, I don't usua
Stolen LivesWhen I got the news yesterday, I didn't shed a single tear. I simply looked up and bit my lower lip so hard it bled. "You'll be OK," my mom told me a million times. But I wouldn't. Even though I didn't cry, my heart shattered and my world fell apart. He was everything to me and I didn't know how to survive without him.
When my mom had said that I'd be fine, I knew something was wrong. This was her son after all. How can you not feel anything after your only son dies? "Ella? Ella? Sis?" I looked up at my younger sister with the same dead eyes I've had since yesterday. "Are you OK?"
"He's gone," I answered stupidly, not sure what else to say.
"Yes, he is. But we'll always love him and we'll always remember him, right?"
"Mom won't," I replied bitterly.
"She loves him, Ell. She's just shocked," Allison told me gently.
"No she doesn't. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mom pretended to love him after he was accepted at Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and Stanford. She loved his
This is BeautyThe snowy mountains
And the whitened trees.
White animals following me.
Sparkling ocean as far as I can see.
And the yellow sand squirming beneath my feet.
Orange, purple, pink, blue sky;
Making the world even more beautiful
Than it ever could be.
Orange, yellow; warm-colored leaves
Drift to the ground,
And the shade diminishes heat.
Sun shines through the clouded sky,
I wave to the warmth; good-bye.
Birds sing their beautiful songs
And crickets chirp all night long.
The wind ruffles the green leaves,
Making me happy; sick with glee.
Flowers, grasses, blossoming trees;
What more do I need?
All the beauty in the world
Is right here before me
In the season,
The lovely season of spring.
Immaturity is confusing...You and me both know that we
Can not stand each other.
Every day and every night
I sit in my room and cry.
To you, for you;
I wish you'd shut up.
Quit complaining of meaningless things.
When I hear your voice
My blood boils,
My heart trembles,
I feel the need to scream.
But, oh, the words will not come out
I can't seem to yell at you.
Because every day and every night
When I'm sitting alone and sad
I think of you and all of your pranks
I think you might not be so bad.
But your jokes amuse me
And your words make me mad.
Your face stirs up bad feelings
And your laughing I just can't stand!
So why do you listen to me?
Why do you stay
So near to me
So far away
I tried to yell at you,
I tried to scream,
But all that came out
Was a meaningless thing.
You rolled your eyes and laughed
Do you really think it's funny?
Because it's making me mad.
You won't be laughing in a second,
When I come over and cut off your hands.
Writer's Block...It doesnt come anymore
The words cant flow from my mind
Drift to the paper and form a song
Everything was so easy
It all just worked out somehow
But now I cant think
And the words dont mean
The same thing
Nothing outside has changed
Inside of me
Theres a disease;
It makes my hands tremble,
It forces my eyes closed
Everyday when I lift my pencil
The paper stays blank
I stare at the white sheet
But nothing has changed
When did this happen
How can I make it stop
Will you lend me your hands
So I can start to write again
My Real Lovedo you miss me?
now that I need you
doko ni iru no?
hold me TAITO
I wanna be close to you
watashi no kotoba
anata no kiss
ima, kowai yo
Anata mo atashi mo
You run away itsumo
Hold me TAITO
I wanna be close to you
Watashi no kotoba
Anata no kiss
Ima, kowai yo
why did you leave me?
kimi no sasayaku
you know I can't hear you
hold me TAITO
I wanna be close to you
Watashi no kotoba
Anata no kiss
Ima, kowai yo
kimi no atatakai te
boku no tsumetai HATTO
I wanna be with you now
kore ga watashi no honto no love desho？
Bokutachi no RABU wo hajimemasu yo
demo, kimi wa doko ni iru no?
Six O' ClockLay me to sleep on the warm summer curbs.
I want the skyscrapers in my bones
And their light beneath my nails.
I want a burgundy August strung between my teeth
So I can suck the seconds from the season
And smile like September.
Today Is The Day
Today is the day.
Today is the day that you stop making excuses.
Today is the day you put your fork down and lace up your shoes.
Today is the day you step outside and run like there is fire at your heels.
Today is the day you think of sweat as gold.
Today is the day you fall down and get back up.
Today is the day you feel the ache in your calves.
Today is the day you pant like a dog.
Today is the day you tell yourself you'll do it again tomorrow and mean it.
Today is the day you make a change.
there were tidepools in his eyes, andhe remembered blue walls
like ocean miles, time he couldn't forget
because it welled up
like waves beneath his skin; lined with creases he'd
earned through eternity, he watched
the sky and asked how long had it really been -
nothing saved from
the ashes but saltwater stains
on clothes, on cheeks in place of
(the sun never stood a chance)
and the way he'd always slept with a s-stutter -
standing with waves crashing like
thunder to his knees he remembered a time
not long ago when it was
and he knew he was scared of the
end because he
didn't want to sink beneath the water, nothing
left but bones and sightless
(inhuman in the fullest; a monster to the third degree, he knew) -
and he put it off
once and again until it came for
him and knocked on the door; invited itself
in and told him now, i've been patient
for a while, but -
and he realized
amidst a falling grace that sometimes
death is the most human of us
you ate the stars and i ate my heart.this is how i was
fell in love with a boy
with razor sharp
teeth and a
poet's heart. it's really a
pretty kind of thing.
using his borrowed
tongue, he took me in like a
four a.m cigarette (slowly, and
with loneliness in every one of his
joints). we both thought
that enough smoke
would fill in the cracks in our
rib cages; we were both
he told me that he would
like to be a
planet: "all that open
space, all those dying
stars. it would give me room to
instead of telling him that
there is no oxygen in
outer space, i
watched him feel his lungs
implode. it broke my
bones to witness it; but it's really a
dreadfully pretty thing to
The BirdShe was so desperate for love
She couldn't find in herself
She was perfectly willing to throw herself at the stars
Convinced herself she could be completely happy
With someone who put her in a nest.
That gilded nest was beautiful.
But a nest none the less.
It just took a shining mirror
To see how it had become a cage.
So she resolutely found the key
And let herself out.
She'd never noticed she'd outgrown the nest
To the point where it had become a claustrophobic cage
It ripped and tore at her feathers and flesh
Until she finally wrenched herself free
To flee as far as she could get
From that awful cage.
Along the way,
She found another mirror
And looking into it....
She found me,
A reflection of herself.
She saw me, a reflection of her,
Without her cloak of lies
Leadening her hunched shoulders,
Concaving her entire persona.
She discovered my beautiful colors,
The fine sheen to my feathers
And enthralling grey of my eyes.
She flew away,
But I met her every mirror after
I saw her slouch
comfortcurling into quilts so deep
bubbles of tension run off
my body like soap, and i
clutch that raggedy little
dog to my chest like cloth
can make me whole.
nightfallThe night air is cool.
Street lamps are coming on
and from my window seat,
narrow and confining,
there's a person on bike.
I wonder where they're going,
who they are, what they'll see,
whether they'll be friend or foe,
and if that will matter to me.
Ah, they're turning, turning,
out of sight now
behind the houses,
the trees, the lights
behind the sheltered,
comforting feel of night
I'm starting to feel witchy
as the first star shows its twinkle
thinking of these rhymes and rhythms
Like the beat of my heart
matches the breath of the wind
and the exhalation
of my sleeping sister next door
and the snores of father and mother
down the hall.
It's a night of magic and mystery:
no cloud covers the moon,
not quite full, not quite empty
and the scratching noise of branches
echoes my imagination,
narrow and confined,
my body starts to ache
longing for the comfort of the bed
just a few feet away.
I turn from the window,
face the curtain, but a glimpse
of another biker catches my eye
and I'm trans
What is Isolation you ask?
Isolation is to be left out when you want to be in.
Isolation is feeling that sense of loneliness.
Isolation is feeling alone when ten thousand people surround you.
Isolation is hearing laughter in a room and silence when you walk in.
Isolation is staying away from people, afraid they won’t talk back.
Isolation is sad.
Isolation is small.
Isolation is hard to describe unless you are the person feeling it.
Isolation is quiet.
Isolation is counting how many times you get let down and eventually lose track.
Isolation is wanting to forgive but not knowing how.
Isolation is uttering a cry from the depths of your soul and waiting forever for a reply.
Isolation is not hearing an answer when you ask a question.
Isolation makes you feel worthless.
Isolation has to be the cruelest of emotions.
I know the feeling of isolation.
I sense it in myself.
There's nothing you choose to do about it.
For I've tried everything already.
So don't be surprised,
If I'm gone from this place.
Stop talking, Start screamingStop talking
It’s not enough
Maybe you should try to scream
Everyone does it
Stamp your feet
Slam the door
What you stand for
And when somebody
Has noticed you
Do what all the others
Would do too
Just don’t quit
You like the attention more
Than you could admit
Don’t be embarrassed
It’s what we all do
Everyone denies it
But we all know it’s true
Screaming our opinions
On the whole internet
And begging for attention
Is how we lack intellect
This is who we are
It’s the purpose of our society
Everybody wants to be heard
Ignoring the last bit of propriety
So do what you think is right
Scream whatever comes in mind
Do anything you can do
To make someone notice you
IntoxicatedYou hold me down
I need to breathe
Numbing words and bleeding words
Just let go of yourself
This will change the rest of your life
And youll never make it out alive
What builds all this pressure
Inside my head
What sends the room spinning
Its only the first time
My head is aching
But I feel so alive
Flashing city lights
Neon burning my eyes
What is going on?
Where are you taking me now?
Forcing me down the busy streets
Cold air touches my skin
The illuminated city becomes pitch
Hollow eyes and empty words
Where have you taken me?
I cant take another minute
I cant even speak
When my mouth opens, all I do is scream
Pain shoots through my body
As you take my hand
It was so easy for you
When I wasnt really there
Easy to take advantage
And steal what wasnt yours
My ending was so slow, but it was painless
Body numbed with alcohol
I didnt feel a thing
Keep in Touch!
Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More