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I Don't Miss AdolescenceMy sister calls to ask me if I'll do her makeup;
Mami promised that she would, but she's tired
and screamed when Maria reminded her senior prom
is tonight. She says, "I have a hickey on my neck,
something she doesn't want to cover, and you've always
done a better job of highlighting the subtle graces
inherent to my bone structure, the angles we share."
I say, "That's okay, but I can't pick you up,"
so she arrives in a flourish of exasperations,
telling me all the family business, waving her nails
in my face and talking about the pain of her extensions.
She says, "Do you think we need yellow concealer?
I plan to take pictures, and the last
7 - The Pet PoetI remember when Mommy bought you
a black-haired pet for your sweet sixteenth.
Its bronze collar said its name was "Poet."
You fed it noise from the out-of-tune piano,
intense moments involving flesh and razors,
and the occasional walk by the lake.
At first, he knew only the wolf's howl,
purging blood and flames onto the carpets.
Everywhere was a smell of extravagance --
like that woman's cheap perfume on the train to work.
But you cried a little less,
smiled a bit more.
And that was when Daddy stopped
trying to send it back to the shelter.
Soon, you even started watching T.V.
(and enjoyed food, dressed nice, made friends.)
unrequitedyou make my words
gather at the hollows
of my throat
until i choke on them.
my fingers ache to
but my eyes ache to
you're nothing but heart break
wrapped in a bow
of something beautiful,
like the dust of grace from
i drink a little faster and
cry a little harder
because the way whiskey and tears
mingle on my lips
tastes suspiciously of love.
The HourglassWatch the hands go round and round.
Ahhhh, how long have I been sitting here,
Listening to the grandfather clock?
Watching him ticking away?
Watching the polished wood yellow and rot?
And with every sound he makes
More maggots eat his wooden flesh.
Every grain that falls is an eternity!
In the firelight you can see the glass.
The dust that coats the cracking bulb,
Listening to the sand that trickles down.
Listening to the passing hours.
With every grain that filters through
Another man sleeps eternally.
The sundial stands defiant!
From my leather chair I see it!
It stands defiant in the plaza below me!
Standing in the moonlit night.
Onyx DreamsOnyx Dreams
Fluctuations of sound waves vibrate the floor,
While the lights of my room glow brilliantly,
But as time winds down and my energy starts its decline,
My vision gets blurry and listening becomes hearing,
And hearing becomes simple background noise,
While Palaceer Lazaro’s words become filmy intonations
Yet, still creating a motion picture full of abstract images,
In my mind full of words and phrases that do nothing but stay stagnant,
And Slumber begins to wrap her warm hands around my head,
As she sweetly begins to pull me into black depths of rest,
A state of unconsciousness that will take me on a journey,
Through the grey abyss we call the center of our nervous system,
And once I fall into the pit of nothingness, the pit of onyx, for those few hours,
I will transform into an atramentous being with aphotic wings,
Because “black is free……..”
Equestrian StormEquestrian Storm
I was walking through Canterlot,
as rain beat my plot.
I just didn’t feel right,
before it came into my sight.
The princess of the night,
alone and broken.
What a pitiful sight,
out of my slump, twas awoken.
“Princess, why are you here why are you crying?”
“Because nopony loves our night, I would be better off dying!”
“No Luna no, now that you shouldn’t say!”
“And why ever not, what reason hath you that I should stay?”
“Celestia for one, your sister whom you love.”
“Right sure, the sister from whom to the moon I was shoved.”
DilemmaToday in class
You moved to sit beside me
And my heart missed
Your friends followed,
All sitting nearby
And I sat in silence
Afraid of being judged
The presentation started
And I tried not to look at you
But instead peeked
From the corners of my eyes
The presenters spoke
And I tried to focus
On the droning voice
But you invaded my thoughts
What we had talked about last night,
What I should say to you,
How I should instigate the conversation,
If we were to have one at all
I peek over
And you look miserable
Sick, I remember,
And feel an instant sympathy
And fear of being judged
By those around me
Keeps me silent
All Systems are Shutting DownI shut down
Kicking everyone out
I sit alone inside myself, while other pieces of me close the gates around my heart
And lock the door to my brain
I refuse to let anyone in; I pretend I’m not home
“Please leave your message after the beep…”
“Where are you?”
I don’t know.
“Are you okay?”
I don’t know.
“When are you gonna let me in?”
I don’t know.
You were cold insideYour lips tasted of
summer, of warm days and
relaxing by the
pool side and
smiling against the sun.
You should have been too hot,
too sticky, too humid.
You should have
overheated, should have
melted into your bones until
they turned to ashes, but
it never happened.
I suppose I should have
seen it coming, but
I was so moonstruck over
the way you said my name, so
in love with the idea
of love, that I
didn't notice the way
your eyes bled
VIIEncore un peu de cendre
Au coin de tes lèvres
J'épluche tes souhaits
Tu laves le ciel
Et dans ce vent chaud
Des milliers de pétales
No wordsI don't like to talk.
I feel that words cannot truly express what I feel.
When I am filled with emotion, I can find no word that can express what I feel to the fullest.
There is no word beautiful enough to describe this joy, no word horrible enough to describe this hate, no word ugly enough to describe this miserable existence.
nothing specialthey tell you not to give up
because you have potential--
and to the ones who simply enjoy
you're probably fantastic
but to those who do
you're simply mediocre,
nothing to bat an
you're not quite bad enough
to quit, but you're not
great enough to be
a small dosage per daysorrow makes its way into my cup of tea every morning
and I add more spoonfuls of sugar into it,
hoping the sweetness will overpower the bitterness;
yet, this clever feeling still seeps through the sweet substance
and clings itself to the sugar's particles,
which in return races through my veins
and scatters in my blood,
making an entire day feel ruined
Never open the window... Never open the window...
I see you're here.
Pay attention, don't fall. It's dark.
What? No, I don't want to light up the room. Yeah, nor open the window. It's useless.
And actually, the only light I need...
...is that one that is so distant for me.
She asked me why I was saying that.
But best of all, I knew that actually she didn't care
I saw too much faces ready to wipe away all my tears and all my fears
But best of all, I know that actually they didn't care.
Seems like destiny put me in this world to help others.
Oh, I'm tired, but I won't show you.
it has been four years, right?
Four years that I'm holding all of you on my shoul
Goddess of the NightThe moon gives her a crooked smile
Stars glitter in her eyes
The darkness of the night,
Gives her that pitch black skin
Lantern held above her head,
Patience growing thin
She waits atop the moonlit dock
To meet the coming sins
Head held high, watering eyes
She tries acting brave
Ghosts start floating in
One by one
The bite her soul
Sucking at her heart
Ghosts start drifting in
They rip her hair
They tug her arms
As the morning comes,
She feels more sick than ever
Body bruised, clothing torn
Her empty eye sockets stare at the sky
Bloody cheeks, singed hair
She let them do this to her
Who wants to live this in life
My Own WorldMy life inside this world is beautiful
I dont see beyond the wall
Binding me here
Unless I try to make it fall
One after the other
People fade away
My heart beat starts to lessen
The high gets harder every day
I tell myself I want to stop
It just gets harder every time
If I close my eyes and hope
Will it be close enough to being high
I try so hard to fight it
Because I really want to stop
If I put my heart into it
Will it be enough to quit
When I hold my breath and wish
Will I be strong enough to forget
It doesnt really make them happy
In fact, it pushes them away
If I opened my eyes
Would I be able to see
Mistakes of the PastIm searching for today
Because I dont want to fall into mistakes of the past
Regret, desire, remember
Ready, anticipating, dreading
Its all the same
I watch them line up
Dont let them see you try to escape
Wait at the end
I live in the present
Erase my past
Obliterate the memories
Lie to me, tell me it was okay
I did nothing wrong
My hands were once clean
Now sodden with blood
Where do I have left to run?
Nowhere, Im lost, gone
Bury my memories
I cant think about the sins
Ill drown the truth with lies
Because I want to forget
Pure and innocent
Young and naïve, thats w
MomentsThe red blood flows through my veins
To erase my sins, drowned in pain
It dyes the white blanket
A deep, dark red
The throbbing, beating, pounding heart
Ive lost, Im gone
You wont, wont stop
Tonight is the night,
That I will sleep, sleep forever
Underneath the darkened sky,
Atop the frozen ground
I want to
Ive got to
Ignore the cuts
Forget the scars
Help me hold onto my past
My future, my life
I cant drift away just yet
Dont forget me
At least remember what you did
Tonight, let me sleep, let me
Im not ready
But I know my time has come
I need to go, leave this world behind
ConscienceThis is our time, our chance
Why wont we take it?
Are we afraid, nervous
That the world will collapse on us?
Just take the risk
Its all youve got
Put on a lying smile
False joy, dissolving hope
At least you have something
Try not to think about it
Just do, its best that way
When you dont have to look in their eyes
When they dont know youre deceiving them
Just take the risk
You have nothing else
Push aside the willing stares
Forget about them
Hurry, before they come and find you
Lie through your teeth
Whisper to their ears
Tell them theyll be alright
.Seasons.Spring flowers sleep under the blanket of lost dreams
In the dim light of dawn
I join them in a forgotten world
Forever will I remember the day
The day I might leave you
Eventually, I will lay with
The summer moon that falls alone
With no hope of protection,
Where are you supposed to go?
Without pain or despair,
Where is our place on this Earth?
I cant feel the
Flow through the sky,
Pushing cries of lost agony to the surface
How do I find love when I need it most?
Ill search for you until Ive found a life clouded with emotion
Ill watch as
Winter lights reflect off your dead eyes
IntoxicatedYou hold me down
I need to breathe
Numbing words and bleeding words
Just let go of yourself
This will change the rest of your life
And youll never make it out alive
What builds all this pressure
Inside my head
What sends the room spinning
Its only the first time
My head is aching
But I feel so alive
Flashing city lights
Neon burning my eyes
What is going on?
Where are you taking me now?
Forcing me down the busy streets
Cold air touches my skin
The illuminated city becomes pitch
Hollow eyes and empty words
Where have you taken me?
I cant take another minute
I cant even speak
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More